A Closely Guarded Secret

...and just like that, with an electronic beep that I did not even hear, you were gone.

I wait till I am alone, before I turn to face the void.
It is an endless tunnel of pain. It threatens to swallow me whole.

I cannot describe it, except in negations and absence.
Perhaps that's what we always were.
A negation and an absence.

Always?

Always. Do you remember what always tasted like? Or did it always make you cringe like this? Did you feel the perfect symmetry of our bodies...or was that just me spinning yarns again?


The only way to make believe is to make yourself believe, and to make everyone join the circle of false beliefs. But sooner or later you don't want to play anymore and everyone around you is chanting the lies that you taught them, and sooner not later you lose the only anchor to sanity that you ever knew. (Or was that a lie too? I remember to forget. Without repression we are all doomed).

The things that are the hardest to let go of are the intangible ones.

I want to know if a part of you is dying with me.
While the dancing fairies with their glittering painted faces whisper sweet inanities into your perfect ear...

Do you hear me scream?